And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
