my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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