You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
