Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
