He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
That accounts for only three of the penises
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
