Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
babies were throwing up all over the place
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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