I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
