Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My vagina is officially offended.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
