rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize