Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
