Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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