Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
