Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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