RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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