You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
