I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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