got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
