I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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