Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
