white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
