Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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