Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
