mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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