Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it was like eating out sand paper
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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