i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
