Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
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