oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
P.S. I can't hear my feet
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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