3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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