you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
