Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize