It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
