I'm lost and stupid without you.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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