I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
