hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm sobbing to NWA
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
