I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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