Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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