Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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