woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
