im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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