trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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