Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
