the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
