Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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