So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize