We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
