Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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