I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
