david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
