Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
so much tequila, so little girl.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You ruined the universe
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
