I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
