A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
