even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
