To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
