We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize