the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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