she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize