i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
