he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize