Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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