Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So much Jack, so little girl.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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