garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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