It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
