once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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