i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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