i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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