Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We are all done wearing pants today
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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