Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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