goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Are we still banned from the library?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
