Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
