Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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