i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
