I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize