this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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