am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Actions speak louder than pants.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Randomize
