This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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