it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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