I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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