I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
did i walk over a car last night?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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