Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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