I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
