i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize